Scissor Sisters

Monday was the Scissor Sisters Concert at The Pageant here in St. Louis. If you don't know who the Scissor Sisters are, then check out their website: www.scissorsisters.com .

The show was fantastic. The only bad thing about it was waiting for it to start. There wasn't really an opening act. There was a DJ, and he was spinning some ok music, and there was this weird pre-show show called Wigs on Sticks. The Wigs on Sticks thing was kind of lame.

As for the show itself, AMAZING. Jake and Ms. M sounded great, and of course, I was drooling over the sexy guys!

A Valentine's Poem.

Just a poem I found online today that I liked. Its by a gay poet named Constantine Cavafy.

BODY, REMEMBER

Body, remember not only how much you were loved,
not only the beds on which you lay,
but also those desires for you
that glowed plainly in the eyes,
and trembled in the voice—and some
chance obstacle made futile.
Now that all of them belong to the past,
it almost seems as if you had yielded
to those desires—how they glowed,
remember, in the eyes gazing at you;
how they trembled in the voice, for you, remember, body.

Just in time for Valentine's Day...

Here is a lovely story about severe penis pain. Got to love those...
http://www.damninteresting.com/?p=797
Fun huh? Other pictures at the link. Text of the article below.

The vast freshwater ecosystem of the Amazon River is home to abundant animal life, and many of its species thrive by virtue of their ferocity. If one were to ask the locals which of the river's indigenous species is the most treacherous, a few might describe the roaming packs of carnivorous piranhas, or the massive anaconda snakes; but based on the general sentiment of the region, the most frequently uttered response would be "candirú."

The candirú is a tiny catfish which dwells in the depths of the Amazon River. These fish do not hunt in packs like the piranha, nor are they exceptionally large like the anaconda. In fact, the candirú is among the tiniest vertebrates on the planet, and it is sometimes referred to as the "toothpick fish" due to its small size and slender shape. Only a handful of people have had the misfortune of crossing paths with the candirú, but their experiences serve as cautionary tales to any who venture into the mighty river.

Though the candirú is a parasite, humans are not among its viable hosts. It lingers in the murky darkness at the river's bottom, quietly stalking its neighboring fish. Light is scarce in the soupy deep, but the candirú does not need to see… it can taste the traces of urea and ammonia that are expelled from breathing gills.

The tiny hunter shadows its prey, almost invisible due to its translucent body and small size. When the target fish exhales, the candirú detects the resulting flow of water and makes a dash for the exposed gill cavity with remarkable speed. Within less than a second it penetrates the gill and wriggles its way into place, erecting an umbrella-like array of spines to secure its position.

Unconcerned with the host's panicked thrashing, the firmly anchored parasite immediately nibbles a hole in a nearby artery with its needle-like teeth, feasting upon the bounty that gushes forth. Within two minutes the candirú's belly is swollen with the blood of its victim, and it retracts its gripping barbs. A candirú attached to a host fishThough it may seem that the exploited host fish has escaped, its injuries are so extensive that chances of survival are grim. Meanwhile the victorious attacker slinks back into the river's dark places to digest its meal.

There are many troubling stories regarding human run-ins with the candirú, though until recent years these were not given much credence by the medical community. It is not uncommon for people swimming or bathing in the river to urinate in the water, an action which creates tiny water currents that are rich in urea and ammonia. It seems that the tiny, slender catfish cannot always distinguish a urinating human from an exhaling fish gill, and on occasion it will attempt its trademark high-speed attack on some unfortunate soul.

Silvio Barbossa was one such soul. He was swimming in the Amazon River when he went head to head with the tiny parasite:

"I felt like urinating. I stood up, and it was then it attacked me. The candirú attacked me. […] When I saw it, I was terrified. I grabbed it quickly so it couldn't go deeper inside. I could only see the end of its tail flapping. I tried to grab it, but it slipped away from me and went in. […] I was very afraid, because the candirú bites."

When the candirú successfully invades a human, it proceeds exactly as it would with a fish host. After entering the misidentified orifice, it quickly wriggles its way in as far as possible, often accompanied by the victim's frantic attempts to grip the slippery, mucus-coated tail. In the unlikely event that the panicked victim manages to grasp the fish, its backwards-pointing barbs would cause excruciating pain at each pull, and bring a quick end to the dramatic tug-of-war. Once inside, the parasite inches its way up the urethra to the nearest blood-gorged membrane, extends its spines into the surrounding tissue, and starts feasting.

For the candirú, this misguided journey is a one-way trip; its bloody banquet leaves it too swollen to escape. The only known retaliation against the invader is delicate and expensive surgery, or failing that, a folk remedy which combines two herbs to very slowly kill and dissolve the fish. Silvio was fortunate enough to have access to modern medical facilities, though he had to endure three days of profound agony before the fish was extracted by an awestruck urogenital surgeon.

DO NOT BACK UP, SEVERE URETHRA DAMAGE

Silvio's incident was the first officially confirmed report of a candirú attacking a human, but such leg-crossingly horrific tales have haunted the region for generations. According to legend, many men chose castration as an alternative to a slow, excruciating death back before surgery was an option.

Though such brushes with the candirú are exceedingly rare in statistical terms, it is wise to heed the advice of the locals, and avoid urinating in the Amazon River at all costs. When the natives of the Amazon speak, one would be foolish not to listen. They are privy to some of the world's most horrible truths.

Pan's Labyrinth

Despite a busy work weekend, I did catch a film, Pan's Labyrinth (El Laberinto del Fauno). This is one of those movies that will stay with you long after you leave the theater. Guillermo del Toro, best known in the states for the movies Blade II and Hellboy, creates a dark fairy tale that alternates between haunting beauty and crushing brutality.
I won't go into a synopsis of the film; to do so would ruin the many twists and turns this story takes. I will just say that this is probably one of the best films I've seen in a year, if not a few years. The special effects are beyond amazing. There is imagery and imagination for a dozen films displayed here. del Toro and his production team have created a masterpiece, and I for one can't wait for his next film, Hellboy 2.

Wii Mania!

I am finally in love. Yes, its true. Its finally happened. I'm in love with my Wii. I come home from a long day of work, sit down, and play with my Wii. I take that cylindrical piece of perfection in my hand and just jerking it all around my living room. It can get a little crazy. Sometimes, after playing with it for a few hours, I'm sweaty, and a little sore. But its all worth it. All my friends play with my Wii. Even my parents love it. I love my Nintendo Wii.

I was one of those idiots who camped out at the Toys R Us to get one. Even though its been a few months, the attraction hasn't faded. They are starting to bring out some really fun games for the console. Zelda is great, as is Monkey Ball. I got Super Swing Golf for Christmas, and after a pretty steep learning curve, I'm really starting to enjoy it.

More Wii goodies later

2007

Its a new year, and once again I've made a handful of resolutions that I probably won't keep. Or I will be really good for about two weeks and then I'll slip into my old bad habits. I thought about listing all my resolutions here on this blog, but somebody might actually read this thing at some point, and I'll be forced to admit that I didn't follow through with any of them. The one resolution that I am going to follow through with is using my blog more. Hopefully, I can use this space as a place to organize my thoughts, and do more writing. Also, I have a digital camera now, so I want to put more pictures on here too.

A cheeky little monkey...